I have been struggling for days, weeks even, trying to write about this issue. And perhaps along the same lines as what you present here, if you will allow...

Struggling for decades with the issue myself. Pretending I don't care usually and suffering the consequences (usually) but also benefiting from the freedom. Always being told I have to conform (at least a bit) to what those expectations are in order to "get along" and "be one of the crowd" but always finding it difficult to WANT to "get along" and "be one of the crowd." Being told I am anti-social because of this (or worse!!!) and feeling guilty because of that (or worse!!!). And ending up thinking:

Why can I not simply accept myself for who I am and be who I am?

Of course it does turn out to be a matter of perception, other's perception there as well, does it not? Someone else has to allow that as well. Someone else has to come along to say, "Yes, you are fine exactly as you are." And this finally does give you the strength and the conviction you require to fend off any ultimate worries about anyone else.

Now, some might say, "But you shouldn't need anyone else, yadayadayada..."

Who cares what they say as long as what you have and need works?

I don't know. Like I said. I'm working on this...

Anyway, I am certan there are many, at least some, please I KNOW there are at least some, who look upon that face of yours and see the strength and beauty there. Don't question that. It is unnecessary.

You almost make me want to do a "documentary" on the ugly evolution of my poor face, baggy old thing it is today. It would make you SO HAPPY!!!

Possessor of Paul Newman eyes. Author of the straightforward & strange. “Women zai shuo ba.” Be useful; share what you can; help others always. Doctor of texts.