Here's some awful news for you, maybe. Almost 70 and people have been thinking I was gay since I was 10. Married. Didn’t change. My wife thought I was gay. When we argued, it came out (that’s a nice way of putting it, too...). I never quite understood it. The voice? Yeah, maybe. Certain habits? Sure. I played baseball. That wasn’t enough.

Who knows? That’s life. Everybody... What’s that saying? The cross you bear? Screw it. I got laid enough. Women like gay guys, you know?

Keep cruisng those aisles, my man. Life's a gas.