Everything you say is genuine and deserves response. Yet so many otherwise sincere men might have difficulty responding not because they don’t agree but because they feel themselves already “on your side” and these issues are some vague memory for them, a misty vision in the rear-view mirror. They’ve “come to terms” with the feminist point of view and moved on, as it were. I myself, at times, when I write on these matters, often have to stop and gather my thoughts. Rarely does anything come to me quite automatic. Because as much as I may be a feminist, I am not a woman. I don’t think as a woman, don’t experience life as one. I have to force my thinking into that box. I can do that. I’ve done enough reading, spent time listening to enough women talking about their experiences. But it isn’t nearly automatic.
What is? Being a man and seeing things as a man. And that’s nature, nothing can change that. Learning to be compassionate from that frame of reference is key for everyone, although, clearly, it is far more difficult, still, for women given what continues to occur.
Then, there are those men—of course—who have not even the vaguest idea what you are talking about. Perhaps those two men at the break you spoke of were typical. They had no concept of your personal space, your needs and desires, only their own. Perhaps the alcohol did not help. It usually doesn’t. My advice to people is, at the first hint of alcohol in such situations, run. You might have felt fear and discomfort doing so, but you would have recovered and felt better, faster. My guess and opinion.
Toxicity runs in all directions from all origins. The high church says something about this, does it not: So it has ever been, so it shall ever be. Something like that. Long time since I’ve been there. Ah, those Nicenes. They knew it all, I’m told.