Ah. You're writing for an editor who has no experience, who doesn't read the work that they publish, so cannot give you any guidance.

Yeah, welcome to Medium where you are either ignored or everyone gives you a nice pat on the back and you achieve nothing in terms of growth.

And so no one asks you cogent questions like, "Who the heck is Mr. Whiskers, where the heck did he go and why was he there in first place?"

In fiction, it is very important not to introduce elements like that and leave the reader "hanging." Chekov (not the one from Star Trek) said "If there are swords on the wall in the first act, someone has to be stabbed no later than the fifth act." And, of course, this was only a reminder of something that people knew before Aristotle.

Also, you've built a great deal of suspense with this diamond thing, which is great, but then again leave the reader hanging. Is this going somewhere? Is this Part One? Probably the reader deserves at least some kind of note one way or the other for having hung on with you.

The writing is good, but if you don't follow the structural rules the reader gets lost or frustrated no matter how good it is, you see?

I'm surprised because when you write non-fiction your writing flows so well and so naturally. The distinction between the two forms is truly not that different. Relax. You can do this and do it well. RELAX.

Possessor of Paul Newman eyes. Author of the straightforward & strange. “Women zai shuo ba.” Be useful; share what you can; help others always. Doctor of texts.